The Ephesus church seems to have been replaying the experience of Israel before the exile to Babylon. In the words of Jeremiah to the people of Jerusalem: "I remember the devotion of your youth, how as a bride you loved me and followed me through the desert" (Jer. 2:2, NIV). The early years of Israel's experience in the wilderness were a time of relative devotion and faithfulness. But now things have changed: "I had planted you like a choice vine of sound and reliable stock. How then did you turn against me into a corrupt, wild vine?" (verse 21, NIV).
If you had to emphasize either strong doctrinal soundness or love in a situation, which would you choose? When we don't know what to do, the safest course of action is to love. First Corinthians 13 tells us that we could have doctrinal soundness and all kinds of helpful works but if we don't have love, those works are of no value. Ellen White concludes, "In reforms we would better come one step short of he mark than to go one step beyond it. And if there is error at all, let it be on the side to the people."
I remember a time I went to visit a man who was committing adultery. My mind swirled the whole way over, wrestling with just how to approach the issue. I determined to confront him boldly, because I knew that if he didn't make a change in his life, Satan would use the situation to draw him completely away from Christ.
When I arrived at the home, somehow it just seem appropriate to start with that situation. We talked about other things instead. Repeatedly I considered bringing up my purpose for the visit, but it never seemed quite right. Instead I was kind of supportive. Finally I left, kicking myself mentally. What a wimp, I told myself. He was right there, and you didn't have to guts to tell the truth. For the next two days I berated my own cowardice.
Then I received a phone call from him. "Pastor, ever since you left the other day the Holy Spirit has been hammering me about my situation. You knew exactly what I was doing yet you didn't try to humiliate me and make me feel bad. Instead you treated me with love and respect. I was ready for a fight, but your kindness was harder on me than anything you could have said. I have to get my life in order. Will you come back and teach me how?"
By nature we tend to be severe with others and merciful toward ourselves. Any church that loses touch with the centrality of the gospel will begin to wound people even in its faithfulness and sound doctrine. So whenever we are not sure how to handle a specific situation, it is the safest course to err on the side of love and mercy.
Lord, help me never to criticize another until I see them through Your eyes and love them as You love them.